POSITIVE SOCIAL INTERACTION
We often fall into negative interactional patterns. Some of these patterns and prejudices are absorbed from our childhood and others through experiences that have coloured our outlook.
Instead of drawing up a long list of “I will no longer…” let us be positive and practical in changes we can make in our social contacts. Enjoy the journey as you experiment with the following suggestions…
Make a commitment to yourself that you will not pre-judge anyone. Recognize your inherent prejudices e.g., race, culture, religion, social standing, appearance…
Ensure that you have sufficient self-confidence not to feel threatened by any social contact. How would you rate your interpersonal self-confidence? (shy, reticent, comfortable, outgoing?) Are you also aware of the way your non-verbal messages are conveyed? For example, what is your body language when you are shy, angry, embarrassed, etc.? Recognize that you are unique, as each person is, and allow others to get to know you.
Anticipate that you are meeting someone with a different history, life-experiences, joys, and sorrows. Be interested to get to know them. It is not about you, however, in time they will want to know about you.
Learn how to remember their names. A person’s name is important to them. Be sure to use their name when you greet them.
Acquire the quality of being relaxed and easy-going. Recognize that you have value, and have qualities that are of value. However, ask yourself, “What is my motive for connecting to another person?” If there is a genuine desire to get to know the other person, and to share deeply, this will ensure that there is no strain in being with you.
Cultivate the quality of being stimulating and interesting so that people will want to be with you.
Do not be self-centred or egotistical. Guard against giving the impression that you know it all. Be natural and humble.
Recognize your own faults in social interactions and consciously seek to correct them e.g. interrupting, not listening, being judgemental etc.
Do not be afraid to introduce discussions on deeper levels as your relationship develops. Be interested in what they believe and share yours.
Never miss an opportunity to congratulate anyone on their achievement, or to express sympathy in grief/disappointment.
Sincerely attempt to heal every misunderstanding that might have occurred. Apologise, if appropriate, for your part.
Pray for them, it will be your unvoiced gift to them.
