HANDLING NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
Handling negative emotions.
Some practical suggestions in handling our negative emotions-
RED: What has loss of control cost you?
YELLOW:
Past emotional issues: list and give percentages (100% maximum emotional pain)
How did your family of origin cope with feelings? Are you displaying similar traits?
3. GREEN:
How can I better handle my feelings?
Steps to improve emotional control:-
3.1 Identify your feelings; Why am I feeling this? How ‘intense’ is my feeling
3.2 Accept your feelings. They are part of your navigational systems. Use them constructively. We are responsible for our own feelings and actions, blaming others is non-productive.
3.3 Thinking and feeling; Ask yourself….
“How does my thinking influence my feelings?” and “How do my feelings influence my thinking?”
Listen to your feelings they are sending you a message and relieve/control feelings by changing your thinking.
4. Frequent pattern:
EVENT eg criticism) → immediate interpretation/thought(“I’m not good enough/’he’s getting at me)→ feelings(hurt, humiliation, inferior)
(Red = Stop, breathe, calm down, count to ten )
→
CHOICE: What do I make of this? What is the problem here? Is it valid/invalid?
(yellow= consider what is happening)
→
ACTION/REACTION: Ignore or be assertive?
(Decision= How do I respond?)
→
5. Ways to control emotions:
a. Becoming emotionally aware (primary eg hurt) secondary (eg anger)
b. Physical Exercise; regularly.
c. Healthy eating patterns.
d. Being aware of the effect of chemicals you take(medication, supplements etc)
Learn to think logically: Traffic light technique
