Four Pointers to a More Positive Life

1.      POSITIVE CHANGE THROUGH CONTEMPLATION

Positive change cannot happen without careful consideration of all the factors.

Questions to consider; What do I want to change?  Why do I want to change it?  How long have I struggled with it?  Will it not resolve itself? Why have I not changed it e.g. fear of consequences, uncertainty about the ensuing changes will bring? What change would I like to make and is it realistic?

2.      ATTITUDE

Sometimes, but not always, we can change the negatives in our lives by changing our attitude. We need to ask ourselves; “Where do I stand on the “thought-o-meter?” Do I catastrophise (lean towards the negative …”What if?”), or,  am I a “Pollyanna” ? (a smile, “I’m OK” no matter what the circumstances, but aching inside).  How realistic am I in my thinking?

Perhaps some quiet, inner reflection is necessary to discern why we are not having a positive life.. ”Why are you downcast, O my soul?” (Psalm 42:11)

3.      IDENTIFYING OUR EMOTIONAL HEALTH

A good place to start is to identify our emotional status. Do I lean towards the negative? For example - hatred, self-hatred e.g. “ why am I so weak?”, anger, jealousy, rage, intolerance, selfishness, self-pity ,resentment, unforgiveness, critical spirit…etc OR Am I a Pollyanna, oozing joy and contentment? 

Have I got unresolved, painful, issues in my life?

E.g. grief as in the loss of a loved one is part of life and this can come in many forms- through death, unfaithfulness, divorce, broken relationships. Painful costly failures e.g. business ventures . Unresolved health issues, and debilitating chronic physical pain etc

Ask yourself “Am I carrying any residual pain, consciously or sub-consciously?” What can I do to release myself from this?

Realistically, we all struggle with positives and negatives in our lives. The difference is how we handle these emotions.

4.      SOME POSITIVE POINTERS:

4.1  Take some personal time as you ask yourself some questions e.g. “What am I feeling right now?”  / “Am I normally happy, content OR is there an underlying sadness? / Do I allow various concerns or worries fill my thoughts? / Do I have joyful memories? Am I excited about the future, or, fear it?  You give dignity to yourself by acknowledging your authentic feelings remembering that no feeling is sinful…but what we do as a result can have negative or positive, results.

4.2  Recognise that you are not a helpless victim of circumstances. I love the prayer for serenity…”Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can, and, the wisdom to know the difference”

4.3  Take positive steps to deal with difficult, painful issues… our emotional life is like our physical issues. Sometimes we need inner healing so that we can move forward.

Some years ago, I spoke to a lady who had lost her beloved husband in death. Her home was a shrine to him even though he had passed many years before. She could not move forward. Grief is normal but prolonged grief  is unnatural. In my passing I would understand my dear ones grief but it would trouble me greatly if they were ‘stuck’ in grief and did not recall all the wonderful times we had together.

4.4  Realistically, to expect a pain-free life is unrealistic. I love the words of Jesus, He said,

 “ In this world you will have trouble, but be of good cheer, for I have overcome this world” (John 16:33)