The Transformative Power of Forgiveness

Over the years in ministry, I have discovered that everyone is wounded and everyone wounds. We all need forgiveness, and we all need to forgive. We hurt others and have been hurt.

Some feel so bad that they can’t believe that God can forgive them. 

Likewise, when we have been hurt our first instinct is to retaliate, which makes the situation worse. The only real power you have over someone who hurts you is the power of forgiveness. So, for your own sake forgive them and move on. As someone said, “To err is human, to forgive is divine’. Yes, it is difficult, but trust in the Lord and He will give you the grace to forgive.

The truth here is when you accept that God has forgiven you of your past, you are empowered to forgive others who have hurt you.

Let me illustrate this in a situation I had in my ministry years ago. A young couple came to ask me to officiate at their marriage. During the interviews I realized that the young lady was struggling with her past life. She asked for help, and I had a few counselling sessions with her. She recounted that in her early life she was an only child. Her mother was physically handicapped. Her father was an alcoholic who would return home in the evening after work, intoxicated, and in a foul mood, he would take out his frustrations on her. Out of fear for him she would hide. He would verbally and physically abuse her. Then one day he deserted the family and never returned. Shortly afterwards her mother passed away. Child Welfare stepped in and placed her with family who unfortunately further abused her, so that by the age of 16 she ran away.  At 18 years of age, she met Peter a loving young man of 23 who took her under his wing and loved her unconditionally. However, she admitted that her past hounded her, she needed to let go of her bitterness and hatred towards her family. After much reflection she accepted the forgiveness of God and was able to forgive her family, and especially her father.

About 6 months after her wedding, she came and told me she wanted to find her father and to tell him personally she had forgiven him. It took some searching, but after many false alarms she eventually found him in a very poor condition. She immediately took him into her home where she nursed him. After a few weeks of love and care, he asked her why she had searched for him, after his abusive behaviour towards her and her mother.  Her answer was brief. “I wanted to find you to forgive you for what you did to me.” “Why, what made you do that?” he asked. She replied, “God has forgiven me for my wrongdoing, and I wanted to forgive you”. With that he broke down and they wept together. He then confessed that he left home because he realized what he was doing to her and feared that he would kill her in one of his drunken states’.

In the power of receiving God’s forgiveness, she was able to forgive her father!

Forgiveness is a decision, not an emotion. If you wait until you feel like forgiving, you risk remaining trapped in the torture of resentment.

Forgiveness happens when you can view the offender with compassion.

The love of God gives us the possibility of the newness of life that forgiving and being forgiving brings.