MAKING A DIFFERENCE

Our eldest son John had an enquiring mind; and still has it. When he was young a standard question was; “what if…?” He did not just accept things as they were presented, but looked at alternatives.

My question is “are we like conditioned robots or are we autonomous, thinking, learning, human beings?”

Some thoughts about how we might be conditioned:-

1. MOB MENTALITY:-

Political propaganda, news broadcasts, racial discrimination etc leading to unfair judgements (due to incorrect or biased information) For example; Adolf Hitler’s propaganda against the Jews. Unfortunately, we humans are gullible, we believe without thought, or proof.

2. LIVING OUT OF A ‘SCRIPT’:-

These were subtly imposed on us in previous years and still today, for example- the ‘inferior’ status of women and this resulting in the present creation of ‘masculine women’ rather than ‘strong females’

3. THE GOOD, BAD AND UGLY INFLUENCE OF RELIGIONS:-

Jesus clearly taught us to love one another

“ A new commandment I give you: “Love one another as I have loved you”. (John 13; 34) This was an all-inclusive love. He even loved the Scribes and Pharisees, who plotted His destruction, and said from the cross “Father forgive them for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34) However, they did not accept His love, and concern for the direction they were going in.

And it continues… what about the brutal “Holy wars”, misguided religious fervour, etc. e.g. Adolf Hitler’s brutal massacre of millions of Jews, whitewashing this atrocity by calling them Christ killers.

Today it is more subtle, mocking Christians and their beliefs; in the media, movies, and even in social contacts. Young people are often afraid to state that they are Christians, for fear of this judging and mocking.

4. THE PAST, AND PRESENT, HISTORY OF HUMANITY:-

Our history is dotted with brutal wars, some justified them as the only way to stop evil practices, and others stem out of greed, revenge, various disputes e.g. land ownership. Wars are devastating to all involved and one asks the question, “Was there not another way to deal with these travesties?”

There is a need to challenge evil practices that are still evident in our world today. For example, I recently read an account of human trafficking that is flourishing in our world today. This is unacceptable and the question is, and I do not have the answer, how do we stop this for the sake of the children being sold, and the de-humanising effect on the perpetrators?

The good news is that there is as much good, and hopefully more than evil, in this world. Think of the outstanding figures of the past, and I call them the ‘bright lights”. There are so many. I love to read biographies about significant positive people. Of course top on my list is Jesus Christ who taught “My command is this: Love one another as I have loved you” (John 15:12)

5. UNCONDITIONAL POSITIVE REGARD TO ALL PEOPLE:-

Consider these steps from prejudice to “unconditional positive regard” to all people. Not judging, nor “starry-eyed view of humans, but a realistic acknowledgement that each person has their own history, even Hitler (an interesting revelation about his childhood), and the right to be treated with dignity and respect. We can create a new world that does not continue to create victims.

OUR CHANGING WORLD

Who of us can know for certain what tomorrow may hold? Our lives can change in an instant.

Recently we had a visit from cyclone Alfred causing floods in various parts of Australia. Instantly lives changed, and miraculously only one life lost. This event reminded me of a similar flood event in 2011. We lived in Moggill and our church was transformed into a haven; SES set up their operation in the office area, people slept in the church, barbecues were set up on the verandah. The shopping area was underwater and when urgent medication was needed a diver plunged into the water, found the chemist and was able to bring to the refuge centre medicines that were urgently needed.

However, there could also be sudden positive events; a substantial inheritance, a long-prayed for pregnancy, meeting the love of your life..

None of us can predict these things. As one person said, “Life happens”.  Nothing remains the exactly the same, although perhaps we would like to think it does.  Think for instance when we were young nothing was more delightful than to spend hours getting ready for a party, where we danced the night away to loud music. However, as we age nothing is more delightful than to spend a few moments getting rid of the tight clothes, the uncomfortable shoes, slipping into a gown and slippers and settling down to a quiet evening with a good book, watching a good movie or listening to soft music.

The other reality is that our relationships change, people come into our lives, but few are life-long contacts. Each move along their own path which may well take them to distant lands. Children grow up and leave the nest, friends may immigrate, death comes into all our lives. The secret is to value each other, while we can.

Amongst all this change there is one constant; Our eternal, unchangeable God. Jesus said, “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”  (Matthew 28:20) and in Hebrews 13:8 we read, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”  He is our heavenly Father, our eternal Friend and Saviour, our strength in times of weakness, our guide through all the vagaries of life.

Can I ask then, “Why are some people afraid to become a Christian when God has demonstrated His love so magnificently?”  Who would not want a positive, strong, up-building constant in this changing world?  

AN UNUSUAL LIFE STORY

St Ignatius is a well-known figure in the Catholic Church. He was a Spanish theologian and mystic and one of most influential figures in the Roman Catholic counter-reformation in the 16th Century and founder of the “Jesuits”( friends of Jesus).

Ignatius was born in the ancestral castle of the Loyolas, in the Basque province of Guipúzcoa, Spain. He was the youngest of 13 children of a noble and wealthy family; his mother died when he was seven years old.

In 1506 Ignatius became a page in the service of a relative, Juan Velázquez de Cuéllar, treasurer of the kingdom of Castile. In 1517 Ignatius became a knight in the service of another relative, Antonio Manrique de Lara, duke of Nájera and viceroy of Navarre, who employed him in military undertakings and on a diplomatic mission.

While defending the citadel of Pamplona against the French, (where still today each year in July, they stage the ‘running of the bulls’). Ignatius was hit by a cannonball on May 20, 1521, sustaining a bad fracture of his right leg and damage to his left. This event closed the first period of his life, during which he was, on his own admission, “a man given to the vanities of the world, whose chief delight consisted in martial exercises, with a great and vain desire to win renown”. Although his morals were far from stainless, Ignatius was in his early years a proud rather than sensual man. He stood just under five feet two inches in height and had in his youth an abundance of hair of a reddish tint. He delighted in music, especially sacred hymns.

It is the second period of Ignatius’s life that is better known, where he turned toward a saintly life. After treatment at Pamplona, he was transported to Loyola in June 1521. There his condition became so serious that for a time it was thought he would die. When out of danger, he chose to undergo painful surgery to correct blunders made when the bone was first set. The result was a convalescence of many weeks, during which he read ‘The life of Christ’ and a book on the lives of the saints….the only reading matter the castle afforded. He also passed time in recalling tales of martial valour, and in thinking of a great lady whom he admired. In the early stages of this enforced reading, his attention was centred on the saints. The version of the lives of the saints he was reading contained prologues to the various lives by a Cistercian monk who conceived the service of God as a holy chivalry. This view of life profoundly moved and attracted Ignatius. After much reflection, he resolved to imitate the holy austerities of the saints in order to do penance for his sins.

The final period of Loyola’s life was spent in Rome or it’s vicinity. In 1539 the companions decided to form a permanent union, adding a vow of obedience to a superior elected by themselves to the vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience to the Roman pontiff, that they had already taken. In 1540 Pope Paul III approved the plan of the new order. Loyola was the choice of his companions for the office of general.

HOW GOOD ARE WE AT SHARING?

I came across this challenge in the book “Questions from your Cosmic Dance” by John Coleman, and it resonated deeply as I considered it …

“We tend to see our money and possessions as things to preserve, and to the extent that saving helps us give to others and ourselves wisely, then saving is good. I suspect that most often, however, we give into our hoarding instinct. Being frugal is okay, but too much money and too many possessions eventually become a weight on the spirit. Consider this…

CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS ABOUT NATIVE AMERICANS

“… they are so artless and free with all they possess,

that no one would believe it without having seen it.

Of anything they have, and you ask for it,

They never say no. Rather they invite the person

To share it, and show as much love

As if they were giving their hearts.”

Gethsemane - The Place to Give Up Resentment

As we approach Easter, I came accross this challenging article by Father Ron Rolheizer which I would like to share with you.

One of the struggles of Jesus in Gethsemane was that he was asked to give up his life and freedom for something higher and, like all of us, he felt a fierce resistance. None of us easily and naturally gives himself or herself over to the deeper demands of love, duty, and service.

It was only after having prayed was Jesus finally able to say: “Yet not my will, but yours, be done”. When he says this, his gift is pure, and he is able to give himself over without resentment.

Jesus is victimized, but never a victim. When Pontius Pilate tries to intimidate him by telling him: “I can save your life or I can take it”, Jesus responds: “Nobody takes my life from me, I give it up freely!” That translates: “You can’t take from me by force what I have already freely given over out of love!”

If we are sensitive and good-hearted, love will frequently become duty, and an invitation to sacrifice ourselves for someone or something else. Always there will be someone or something making demands on us: children who need us, family obligations, a spouse with an illness, a crisis at our workplace, a church that needs volunteers, and obligations of every kind that come from being sensitive to the demands of God, family, church, country, morality, and the poor.

Anyone who is sensitive and good is burdened by duty. The world is divided up between those who are burdened with duty and are resentful about it and those who are burdened with duty and are not resentful about it.

Jesus prepared himself to meet death by being willing to die without resentment, without making anyone feel guilty about it, and with a heart that was warm rather than cold, forgiving rather than bitter, and large and understanding enough that it didn’t have to demand its due. In the face of bitter duty, he took his life and his love and made them a free gift.

That’s our greatest struggle we have in love. We’re good people mostly but all too often we nurse resentment, even as we do all the right things.  We need, at some point, to say: “Not my will, but yours, be done.” If we say that and mean them, we will taste for the first time ever, real freedom.

Easter Funnies

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• One Easter, a father was teaching his son to drive when out of nowhere a rabbit jumped on the road. Slamming on the brakes, the son said, "I nearly ruined Easter! I almost ran over the Easter Bunny." His father replied, "It's okay son—you missed it by a hare."

• How do dinosaurs celebrate Easter? They don’t. They’re eggs-tinct.

• What kind of jewellery does the Easter Bunny wear? 14-carrot gold

• How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy? Eggs-ercise, specifically hare-obics

• How does the Easter Bunny dry off? With a hare dryer

• What do you call a bunny with fleas? Bugs Bunny

• What did the kids do when their treats were all hidden on Easter morning? They demanded an eggsplanation.

• What do you call an unconventional Easter egg? Egg-centric.

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Better Communication in Marriage

Here are some basic rules for better communication……

1. Speak for yourself, use “I” for example “I am feeling..” “I would like to” and then ask your partner about their feelings.

2. Disclose the hidden parts of your inner experience if you really want to be understood. What you are thinking, what you are feeling, what you want to do about your situation.

3. Don’t attack, don’t defend, just state your case, and then ask for your partner’s views.

4. Listen without interruption, focus on really understanding what your partner is saying and feeling. Do not listen with your answer running.

5. When you understand what your partner is saying and feeling, then you can explain your thoughts and feelings.

6. Keep to the point being discussed, avoid deviations and red herrings.

7. Remember, your partner’s point of view has as much value as yours, and has the same right to be heard.

8. Choose a time to discuss sensitive areas when you both can bring all your faculties to bear on it. In that way you can both do justice to your points of view.

9. Avoid being personal or derogatory, and using such phrases as “You should…”, “You must…”, “You always…”, “You never…”

10. Aim for understanding and being understood, after that you can try to find some agreements or compromise.

11. Avoid the question “why?” as it puts the hearer on the defensive. There are many other ways of asking for information.

12. These rules, and others you might like to add, can help you deal with sensitive areas and gain a deeper understanding of each other’s thoughts and feelings.

Victory Over Intense Suffering

Beverley was suffering from a degenerative gum disease causing incessant burning sensation in her mouth when she wrote this. She gave this to me shortly before she passed away. (Marge Stathakis)

GRACE

Dear Lord, the author of my life-
I need Thy help today
I have done so many foolish things
Throughout my life-
Forgive me Lord I pray
I need Thy saving grace I can’t go on.
Life’s pace is much too fast for me now
The GRACE is all I need.
The GRACE is all I need.
As my steps go, O, so slow
I have found old age is not for wimps
My aging body tells me so.
Lord, You have promised in Your word
That even in old age You would carry me through
This is a promise I have to quote
As daily I search for life’s meaning
My body seems to grow tireder and weaker still
But within my soul I feel so strong.
As along with Paul I truly can say-
“Thy grace is sufficient for me”
Thank you Lord for this saving grace
I need Thy strength each hour. 

Life is so beautiful when we take time to see
All the miracles that surround us daily-
The sunrise as it comes over the hill
The birds as they sing sweetly in the trees
The cooling wind on my brow as I pray
These are miracles of love given to all
If they only take time to thank Thee
Thank you Father all Thy mercies sent from on high
And help others to pray along with me
“THY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR ME”

by Beverley Holyer (23/02/2019)

A Beautiful Poem from the Navajo

IN  BEAUTY MAY I WALK

In beauty, may I walk
All day long, may I walk
Through the returning seasons, may I walk
Beautifully will I possess again
Beautiful birds
Beautifully joyful birds
On the trail marked with pollen
May I walk
With grasshoppers about my feet
May I walk
With dew about my feet
May I walk
With beauty may I walk
With beauty before me
May I walk
With beauty behind me
May I walk
With beauty above me
May I walk
With beauty all around me
May I walk
In old age, wandering on a trail of beauty, lively,
May I walk
In old age, wandering on a trail of beauty, living again,
May I walk,
It is finished in beauty.
It is finished in beauty.

 Meditation point: “How would I describe my walk?”

Keeping Your Brain Healthy

KEEPING YOUR BRAIN HEALTHY

Recently I listened to a talk by Dr Daniel G. Amen and I was quite intrigued, he mentioned that 85 year olds have a 1 in 2 chance of dementia. He spoke about a book he had written “Memory rescue” and in his TV talk he spoke about various issues that affects our brain health.

1. GENETICS: genes increase your vulnerability e.g. children of alcoholics could be vulnerable to alcoholism. Also heart conditions can be a factor.

2. LIFE-STYLE: This is an important factor in cognitive degeneration. Looking at life-style there are various factors to consider: alcoholism,sports injuries - especially contact sport like rugby, diet is also an important factor, etc. The good news is that we can reverse the process. Our behaviour can increase or diminish our brain health.

3. PSYCOLOGICAL FACTORS: He mentions that depression is a symptom cluster and not a condition. Also, that bizarre behaviour can be symptomatic of a medical condition e.g. young man exhibiting bizarre behaviour; examination revealed a cyst in his left-brain lobe. Psychiatrist and doctors prescribing medication for mental health conditions that might be caused by physiological factors. 

4. I have captured a little about this subject but Dr Amen has written a number of books if you would like to explore it more fully, they are:

•  The Daniel Plan

• The Amen Solution

• Change your brain every day

• Healing ADHD

• Magnificent mind at any age

• The end of mental illness

Kindness in Action

What if one act of kindness could change lives?

“No act of kindness no matter how small is ever wasted.” Aesop.
“Where ever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.”Lucius Seneca.

Tony Campolo tells about an incident that happened to him on his way to work walking along the sidewalk pathways of downtown. Tony would often pass by a number of homeless and transient people. From time to time they would make request for money; generally, he ignored them. One day a bag lady who he had seen before in his mad rush to get to work, shuffled out of a donut shop with a steaming hot cup of coffee, their eyes met and Tony forced a smile. Putting down her coat and bags she called out, “Hey Mr would you like a sip of my coffee?”
If you were Tony, how would you respond? Keep walking and ignore her? That’s what Tony did or at least he started to, after a few metres he turned back and said to the lady, “Yes, yes I would like a taste of your coffee.”
She held out the cup with her dirty hand. He took the cup and swallowed what had to be the most delicious cup of coffee yet tasted in a long time.
“Isn’t it good” she said.
“Yes it’s good and thank you. By the way why did you offer me your coffee?”
“Because it was so good, I thought someone might like to share it with me and enjoy it too.” She replied.

A small simple act of kindness from a stranger interrupted Tony’s walk to the office.
Kindness comes in all kinds of shapes and sizes, yet regardless, we all appreciate a kind act.

What is kindness? By definition; ‘the quality of being friendly generous and considerate.” Anything that fills a potential need for someone, is an act of kindness.

Kindness doesn’t come naturally. Kindness isn’t a state of mind or a mood. It is an intentional action. It needs to flow naturally from us. Kindness isn’t just a matter of inserting a coin into someone’s parking meter or donating to some charity or doing a favour without asking anything in return. Good as that is. Kindness comes from within.

Kindness is one of the fruit of the Spirit within us. We have to learn how to develop it by implementing kindness in our everyday life. Sometimes it might not have anything to do with helping strangers. It may well have to do with how we treat those we know well, practising forgiveness and practising kindness. It begins by listening to our spouse, our children, our family, and those we work alongside. Listen intently. Do not be quick to take offence when a careless word is spoken or when a child does something or says something unkind. Practice kindness with those we love and know best. This is where kindness begins and is best practiced.

Quaker Stephen Grellet wrote, “I expect to pass through this world but once, any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to my fellow creature, let me do it now, let me not defer to neglect for I shall not pass this way again.”

Finally, kindness will take action. Kindness is willing to pay the price, to put others first. It does not seek recognition. Kindness is not there to elevate our reputation, or make us look good in the eyes of other people. Real kindness does not seek to find glory for oneself. Kindness demonstrates the love of God through our actions!
“Be kind, one to another……….”

Jokes

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Solving a complex problem

Mensa is an organization whose members qualify by having an IQ in the top 2% of the population

Several of the Mensa members went out for lunch at a local café. When they sat down, one of them discovered that their salt shaker contained pepper, and their pepper shaker was full of salt.
 
How could they swap the contents of the two bottles without spilling any, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly, this was a job for Mensa minds.
 
The group debated the problem and presented ideas and finally came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer.
 
They called the blonde waitress over ready to dazzle her with their solution. "Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the saltshaker has pepper."
 
But before they could finish, the waitress interrupted: " Oh, sorry about that." She leaned over the table, unscrewed the caps of both bottles and swapped them over.

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Signs we should see

• On In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

• On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."

• On a Church's Billboard: "7 days without God makes one weak."

• At a Tyre Store "Invite us to your next blowout." 

• At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

• On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff." 

• On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!" 

• At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

• Outside a Car Exhaust Store: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

• In a Vets waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" 

• In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

• And don't forget the sign at a RADIATOR SHOP: "Best place in town to take a leak."

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The Oldest Computer

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.
Surprise, surprise.
It was an Apple.
But with extremely limited memory.
Just 1 byte.
Then everything crashed.

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Love: The Purest Expression of the Soul

What is love? Love, one of our most-oft-used words, remains and enigma. There may have been more written about love than about any other subject, yet it remains intangible. We know that love is an integral part of human life, that we need for our well-being, but there is no guaranteed way to find it. So what is love?

Love is the single most necessary component in human life. It is both giving and receiving; it allows us to experience another person and lets that person experience us. Love is the origin and foundation of all human interaction. To live a meaningful life, we must learn more about love and how to bring it into our lives.

At first glance, we might think that we need love in the same way that we need to eat and drink, to breathe and sleep. We know that love fulfills our need to be cared for, our need for intimacy. So we pursue love in a manner that is often narcissistic  and indulgent-we look for someone who will love us because we crave it; we may want  to love someone so we can feel good about ourselves.

But if love is just another need like food and water, why is it so elusive? Why is attaining love difficult for so many people? And when we do find it, it doesn’t come easily, it always comes with some pain and frustration. We may succeed at love for a time, but when we fail the pain is intense.

These are the obstacles we face when we look at love as just another of our bodily needs. Yes, we do need love just as we need food and water, but there is a difference. Food ad water are elements of the earth that sustain our physical bodies, whereas love is the language of G-d, which sustains our soul.

True love bears little resemblance to the love we read about in novels and hear about in songs. True love is transcendence, linking our physical selves to G-d and, therefore, to everyone else around us. All too often we look at love selfishly, as something we want and  need; but true love, because it is integral to our relationship with G-d, is selfless.

One of our most fundamental principles is love your neighbor as yourself”. How can this be possible-don’t wee love ourselves more than we love anything else? The answer lies in the fact that true, selfless love stems not from the body, but from the soul. Love is the dominance of spirit over matter. By the definition of materialism, two objects cannot occupy the same space simultaneously. But the soul transcends time and space, and it also transcends narcissism, making it possible to truly share yourself with another person.

The sage Hillel says, “Do not do unto others that which you do not want done unto yourself.  This is the entire Torah and the rest is commentary”.  The wisdom of G-d is intended to do one thing: to teach us how to love, to transcend our material boundaries and reach more spiritual place. Such a journey is only made through the soul. And love is the language that we must learn to speak along the way. Love is a way of talking to G-d. When you look into someone’s eyes and love that person, you are transcending the physical world and connecting to G-d.

So love is much more than treating another person with compassion. It goes beyond exchanging feelings of warmth. It is much more than doing to others only as you would do unto yourself. Love is a G-dly act, the purest way to feed another person’s soul as well as your own.

The deepest love is not merely human. It is love infused with G-dliness, whereby a mortal kiss is transformed into an immortal one. True love is one soul greeting another.

(The wisdom of the Rebbe Menachem Mendel  Schneerson in his book   “Toward a Meaningful Life)

Analysing Our Struggles

Choose one area; work/home/family/me, that is particularly troublesome and ask yourself the following questions about it….

1. What choice do I have in my role in this particular area? 

2. Would I enjoy it more if I had the time?

3. Am I struggling with expectations from others?  Whose voice is dictating to you in your head?   Name them for yourself.

4. Am I struggling with my own expectations?  What is driving me?

5. Am I struggling with what I feel is God’s expectation of me? Is it realistic?

6. How healthy are my relationships?

7. What kind of personality do I have?
   Introvert/ extrovert / intuitive/ sensing/ feeling/ judging/ perceiving?
   What role does this play in my everyday life?

8. Do I feel my life is significant? Viktor Frankl speaks of   “Man’s search for meaning”  in the book of the same title. (note: the term man includes women)
   Our lives need to have meaning, something beyond mere existence.

9. Ask yourself…. “What drains the life out of me?” And, “ What would give me a sense of meaning in my life?”

10. Do I care enough for myself to take time to consider what would make my life better, healthier and happier?

A Soldier’s Prayer Before Dying

This poem was found upon the body of a dead American soldier on the battlefield…

Look God-

I have never spoken to you

But now I want to say, “How do you do?’

You see God they told me you didn’t exist

And like a fool, I believed all this.

Last night from a shell-hole I saw your sky

I figured right then that they told me a lie

Had I taken time to see things you made

I’d have known they weren’t calling “a spade a spade.”

I wonder God, if you’d shake my hand

Somehow I feel that you will understand.

Funny I had to come to this place

Before I had time to see your face!

Well, I guess there isn’t much more to say

I’m sure the zero hour will soon be here

But I’m not afraid since I know you’re near.

The signal! Well, God I’ll have to go

I like you lots, this I want you to know.

Look now, this will be a horrible fight

Who knows, I may come to your house to-night,

Though I wasn’t friendly with you before

I wonder God,,if you’d wait at your door?

Look I’m crying! Me! Shedding tears

I wish I had known you these many years!

Well, I have to go now, God, Goodbye…

Strange, since I met you – I’m not afraid to die.

Four Pointers to a More Positive Life

1.      POSITIVE CHANGE THROUGH CONTEMPLATION

Positive change cannot happen without careful consideration of all the factors.

Questions to consider; What do I want to change?  Why do I want to change it?  How long have I struggled with it?  Will it not resolve itself? Why have I not changed it e.g. fear of consequences, uncertainty about the ensuing changes will bring? What change would I like to make and is it realistic?

2.      ATTITUDE

Sometimes, but not always, we can change the negatives in our lives by changing our attitude. We need to ask ourselves; “Where do I stand on the “thought-o-meter?” Do I catastrophise (lean towards the negative …”What if?”), or,  am I a “Pollyanna” ? (a smile, “I’m OK” no matter what the circumstances, but aching inside).  How realistic am I in my thinking?

Perhaps some quiet, inner reflection is necessary to discern why we are not having a positive life.. ”Why are you downcast, O my soul?” (Psalm 42:11)

3.      IDENTIFYING OUR EMOTIONAL HEALTH

A good place to start is to identify our emotional status. Do I lean towards the negative? For example - hatred, self-hatred e.g. “ why am I so weak?”, anger, jealousy, rage, intolerance, selfishness, self-pity ,resentment, unforgiveness, critical spirit…etc OR Am I a Pollyanna, oozing joy and contentment? 

Have I got unresolved, painful, issues in my life?

E.g. grief as in the loss of a loved one is part of life and this can come in many forms- through death, unfaithfulness, divorce, broken relationships. Painful costly failures e.g. business ventures . Unresolved health issues, and debilitating chronic physical pain etc

Ask yourself “Am I carrying any residual pain, consciously or sub-consciously?” What can I do to release myself from this?

Realistically, we all struggle with positives and negatives in our lives. The difference is how we handle these emotions.

4.      SOME POSITIVE POINTERS:

4.1  Take some personal time as you ask yourself some questions e.g. “What am I feeling right now?”  / “Am I normally happy, content OR is there an underlying sadness? / Do I allow various concerns or worries fill my thoughts? / Do I have joyful memories? Am I excited about the future, or, fear it?  You give dignity to yourself by acknowledging your authentic feelings remembering that no feeling is sinful…but what we do as a result can have negative or positive, results.

4.2  Recognise that you are not a helpless victim of circumstances. I love the prayer for serenity…”Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can, and, the wisdom to know the difference”

4.3  Take positive steps to deal with difficult, painful issues… our emotional life is like our physical issues. Sometimes we need inner healing so that we can move forward.

Some years ago, I spoke to a lady who had lost her beloved husband in death. Her home was a shrine to him even though he had passed many years before. She could not move forward. Grief is normal but prolonged grief  is unnatural. In my passing I would understand my dear ones grief but it would trouble me greatly if they were ‘stuck’ in grief and did not recall all the wonderful times we had together.

4.4  Realistically, to expect a pain-free life is unrealistic. I love the words of Jesus, He said,

 “ In this world you will have trouble, but be of good cheer, for I have overcome this world” (John 16:33)

A Simple Smile

Every morning I go for a walk down to the beach, and on my way I pass people walking their dogs, who are with their partners, or who are alone. Many of them will greet me with a ‘hi mate’ or ‘good morning’ or just a hand wave. However, many will walk past without any sort of acknowledgment that I am there. I am invisible to them.

 In South Africa there is a greeting that the Zulu’s use, namely “Sawubona’. It means ‘I see you’. It is more than just a polite phrase. ‘Sawubona’ carries the deeper meaning of recognising each person’s worth and dignity.  ‘I see you’, (meaning, you are valuable to me.)

What a difference it makes when one is acknowledged, greeted with a cheerful good morning, or even just a lovely smile. One is never fully aware of what others are going through at that given moment, so any acknowledgment can bless their day.

So, when I came across the following poem, sent to me by a friend, I decided to include it under Costa’s Corner.

                 SMILE

Smiling is infectious
You catch it like the flu
When someone smiled at me today
I started smiling too. 

I walked around the corner
And someone saw my grin
When he smiled I realized
I'd passed it on to him. 

I thought about that smile
And then I realized its worth
A single smile, just like mine
Could travel round the earth. 

So, if you feel a smile begin
Don't leave it undetected
Let's start an epidemic
And get the world infected        

A Poem by Spike Milligan

Jokes

---

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she was going to receive the usual three wishes.
The Genie said, "Nope ... due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So ... what'll it be?"

The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this Map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."
The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."

The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is good in bed and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That's what I wish for ... a good mate."

The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "Let me see that Raddy map!"

---

My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my mum would be like.
The way he tells it, the minister asked my mum, "Do you take this man to be your husband." And she said, "I do."
Then the minister asked my dad, "Do you take this woman to be your wife," and my mum said, "He does."

---

She had a wedding to go to, and needed a wedding gift. 
"Aha," she thought, "I have that monogrammed silver tray from my wedding that I never use.  I'll just take it to a silversmith and have him remove my monogram and put hers on it.  Voila, one cheap wedding present."
 
She took it to the silversmith and asked him to remove her monogram and put the new one on. 
 
The silversmith examined the tray carefully, shook his head and said, "Lady, this can only be done so many times!"

---

The Absence of God

I am sure that we all have experienced the absence of God in our lives. I have experienced this many times in my life, it is a lonely, desolate place.

Lewis Smedes eloquently addresses this in his book “When Goes on Leave of Absence”. He says this “If you have lived as long as I have, you have probably found yourself, now and then, in deep trouble and you asked God to help and He did not seem to hear. You knocked at His door and nobody was home. Gone on vacation. Heaven was silent.”

Let’s take a look at some places in the Bible where God was ‘absent’  -

In the Old Testament:

1. In the Garden of Eden when Satan tempts Eve to eat from the forbidden fruit.

2. Israelites enslaved in Egypt.

3. Years of wandering in the desert.

4. King David’s moral lapse.

In the New Testament:

1. Birth of Jesus- Joseph and Mary had to flee to Egypt because Herod wanted to kill Jesus. Many babies were slaughtered.

2. The error of the Jewish religious practices e.g. the unscrupulous money-changers.

3. The temptations of Jesus…. Satan’s voice “change the stones into bread.” Etc. (Matthew 4:1-11)

4. The cry of Mary, the sister of Lazarus. “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died” (John 11:32)

5. The agonized cry of Jesus on the cross; “My God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27 v 46).  Also, King David, one of the most beloved writers in the entire bible, in the very first verse of Psalm 22, asks the same question.

You and I may have felt like asking the same question sometime in our lives: My God, my God, why, why have You abandoned me?

Two possible conclusions:

A. Like a mother or father teaching their toddler to walk would, at some point let go of the toddler’s hand so that they can build the confidence in themselves.

B.  That God is never actually absent, but that we are expecting something different from God.

There are probably many more reasons, perhaps take some time to meditate on this….

A Prayer For Those Who Live Alone and Feel Alone

I live alone, dear Lord,
Stay by my side.
In all my daily needs.
Be Thou my Guide.

Grant me good health.
For that indeed, I pray,
To carry on my work
From day to day.

Keep pure my mind,
My thoughts, my every deed.
Let me be kind, unselfish
In my neighbour’s need.

Spare me from fire, from flood,
Malicious tongues
From thieves, from fear,
And evil ones.

In sickness of
An accidental befall,
Then humbly, Lord, I pray,
Hear Thou my call.

And when I’m feeling low,
Or in despair,
Lift up my heart,
And help me in my prayer. 

I live alone, dear Lord,
Yet have no fear,
Because I feel Your presence
Ever near.  Amen.

(Author unknown)